We are only a handful of hours away from the country’s least productive afternoon in at least four years. Because if the Olympic Men’s Hockey semi-final is anything like the game four years ago between the USA and Canada, we are all in for a treat. And for god’s sake Team USA, find a way to get this one done. Canadian pride is bizarrely annoying and the “one down, one to go” proclamations after yesterday’s disappointing women’s final was quite enough already. I’m not that worried to be honest, because I’ve heard we’re planning on playing 4 TJ Oshie’s if the game makes it to overtime, and well, we know what happens when we go all in on Oshie.
To deal with the tension of what is surely going to be a great game, we’ve got some recommendations on what to drink to keep the American pride at an all time high. Remember, it’s not whether we win or lose, it’s how drunk you were while watching the game…that’s the saying right?
Surly Brewing CynicAle – The aforementioned TJ Oshie built his stick-handling prowess at a small Hockey-obsessed High School in Warroad, Minnesota just south of the Canadian Border. Well, just a few hours further south of Warroad, away from enemy territory, Surly Brewing is pumping out amazing craft beer and this 16 oz canned CynicAle is the perfect game companion. The quicker you drink, the quicker that cynic is gone and only positive thoughts will remain.
A Shot of Jim Beam – Jonathan Quick has been truly solid in net for Team USA and he’s up against some of the world’s best goal scorers in today’s competition. But Quick has proven to be beyond reliable giving us all further optimism for USA sneaking by Canada. And what’s more reliable than a shot of Jim Beam…one of the classic American whiskeys. For every shot Quick stops, you take a shot…oh wait, that’s actually a terrible idea. But on the other hand the Beam does come with an added bonus. If for some reason the unspeakable happens, there’s no better person to help you get over the loss than Mila Kunis…
Harpoon Craft Cider – Before Phil Kessel was shipped off to the dark side (Toronto Maple Leafs), he made his name as one of the best talents on the Boston Bruins. Now as one of the most consistent offensive contributors for team USA, it would be particularly fantastic if he acts as the difference maker against Canada. So in honor of his Boston days, we suggest you pick up some Harpoon Cider. A quintessential American Craft Brewery producing a quintessential American product.
Regardless of what you drink today, enjoy the game! Just promise us you’ll leave the Canadian Club Whiskey and Molson for another day…Go USA!