The summer brings so many enjoyable moments, that it’s difficult to even focus on just one, but when it comes to outdoor drinking I don’t think there is a more satisfying swill than the Post-Round-of-Golf Beer. This moment culminates in the marriage of so many wonderful things, it almost hurts.
First, it feels like you’ve earned it. You just walked 18 holes (or rode if your rich and lazy), went through every emotion in the human spectrum; from self-loathing (missing multiple 2 foot putts), to joy through triumph (sticking it two feet from the pin on a long par-3…and then missing the putt), and every emotion in between. I’ve taken the LSAT twice and still can say that I’ve thought more deeply during any round of golf than I did taking these tests. Spoiler alert: I did poorly on both tests. But the point is after such a physical, emotional, and intellectually stimulating day the payoff of an ice cold beer on the patio of the clubhouse is extremely enjoyable.
The second reason this moment is so wonderful is because I am a competitive sonofabitch. This time is usually when the scores are tallied, bets are paid off, and winners are named. Now a lot of people consider golf a game where you are competing with yourself. Those people are stupid. Golf is a game. Period. You play to win. So the beer is especially sweet when you accompany it with a warm feeling of self-satisfaction. The flipside of the coin is the self-loathing beer, because you had a bad round, but it usually tastes just as good, because, well, it’s a beer and your outside, so get over your bad round and enjoy the moment.
Lastly, the patio is usually located right next to the ninth tee box and 18th green so you can kick back and watch the duffers make asses out of themselves while they swing out of their shoes trying to impress their golfing buddies. If you know me there no better beverage to pair with making fun of defenseless people than an ice cold beer.