For last year’s Super Bowl preview we took the high road chatting up the great characteristics of the teams and their respective cities summed up by one delicious cocktail for each. And where the hell did that get us? Since that post we saw one of the world’s most boring Super Bowls with Seattle more or less going Space Jam Aliens (Pre-Jordan’s Arrival) on Peyton and the Broncos followed up by one of the most controversial and frankly icky (yes, we say icky here) seasons in NFL history. Of course, however, there was one component of consistency this season: the annual rise and fall of every Eagles fan’s expectations resulting in the most embarrassing display of the range of human emotions. So we’re going all in on negativity for Super Bowl 49. Maybe some hard hitting honesty will get your balls inflated in time for the big game…
Without further ado, your Nobler Experiment Super Bowl 49 preview:
Drew on the AFC Champions – I don’t like the Patriots. You don’t like the Patriots. Nobody likes the Patriots. But yet, here we are again, the sixth time in the last 11 years with the Goddamn New England Patriots in the GODDAMN SUPER BOWL! Football really drives a man (or a woman, you should have seen how many drinks my wife had after the Packers lost to Seattle. It was, like, one million.) to drink.
When Ricky tasked me with finding a cocktail for The Noblers to drink during the Super Bowl that was representative of the illegally filming practice, ball deflating, pretty boy quarterback having, MILF slaying coached New England Patriots…I had an idea. What does Boston hate the most of anything in the world? Besides speaking coherently and black players being “lazy” of course.
New York City.
Bostonians hate New York with the burning hatred of 1,000 suns. Do you know what city has an excellent cocktail named after one of its boroughs? No, not The Southie (Mad Dog 40/40 mixed with dip spit). It’s the Manhattan!
Any bartender worth his/her shaker tin can make you a Manhattan. It consists of bitters, sweet vermouth, whiskey, and a maraschino cherry garnish served up in a cocktail glass. The genesis of the cocktail is shrouded in a bit of mystery, as it is disputed as to when/where it was invented. Most agree that it was in the late 1860s or early 1870s and the ingredients haven’t really changed since its inception. During Prohibition, Canadian whisky was used because, if the show Boardwalk Empire is to be believed, it was the most prevalent liquor in the United States at the time.
There are any number of variations on the classic Manhattan, and most are delicious and inventive and will be served to you by a weirdly facial haired bartender. The bar that I work at, Henry’s Swing Club in Chicago, has a wonderful winter variation on the Manhattan, known as the Woolworth’s Manhattan. Here is how you’ll make it:
3/4 Carpano Antica sweet vermouth
2 dashes Root Beer Bitters
Stir with ice and pour into a cocktail glass with a cherry garnish.
Extremely simple and will really stick it to any Patriot fans you happen to be watching the game with. Just kidding, I know you guys are all smarter than to have friends from Boston.
Ricky on the NFC Champions – I’ve been to Seattle a few times over the last two years and I have to say, I’m calling BS. Everyone can not be that nice. Where’s the angst? Where’s the grit? Where’s the yelling? Why on earth is everyone so concerned with how I am doing? And how on earth are you the same people making all that noise on Sundays. Oh and one more thing on the city itself…Can we do something about the ridiculous liquor laws? If it’s 9 PM and I can’t get a drink in the hotel we have a serious problem. Maybe the “12” moniker stems from everyone in the city completing their AA program…
Speaking of the “12s” and their football team, all the recent success has this team acting like a caricature of last year’s Super Bowl victors. At this point Russel Wilson might as well be selling girl scout cookies, Doug Baldwin is rehearsing for the role of Richard Sherman, and Marshawn Lynch has taken the stubbornness version of steroids to get himself through these playoff media appearances. Oh, and the Legion of Boom…I’d like you to meet the greatest Legion in sports history…The LEGION OF DOOM!
Now that I got that out of my system…Sticking with Drew’s theme for picking drinks, I’m going with the closest thing to a rivalry Seattle has got going at the moment. You know, since they are so damn nice and probably don’t hate anyone.
If you want to stick it to the Seahawks this Super Bowl, it’s all about the Pisco Punch. This San Francisco classic originated pre-prohibition and just like the Manhattan, has a pretty unique and mysterious back story. The generally agreed upon origin story involves a popular gathering spot for late 19th and early 20th global travelers known as the Bank Exchange Saloon in downtown San Fran and a secretive Scotsman bar keep named Duncan Nicol. It also involved the use of one of the original emulsifiers (gum arabic) something you don’t see utilized much these days. You can get your hands on some of this Pineapple Gum Syrup at a website called Small Hands Foods and the rest is really quite simple and delicious.
2 ounces pisco
3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice
3/4 ounce pineapple gomme (see link above)
pineapple cube and leaf for garnish
In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, shake all of the liquid ingredients until chilled and frothy. Strain into a cocktail glass (I hate to admit it, but a coupe is probably the best option) and garnish with the pineapple cube and leaf before serving.
So who’s going to win the game? Well, we aren’t so great at predicting these types of outcomes at the Nobler Experiment, but we can tell you one thing for sure: It won’t be the Eagles. Cue 2015/2016 seasonal emotional roller coaster…