Don’t Call Us Simple. Actually On Second Thought…

Most men don’t do presents.  That is, unless they are forced to out of obligation, physical threats or family ex-communication.  Yes, of course, there are some sentimental men who actually enjoy buying gifts, but by-and-large this is not something us as a gender enjoy doing.  People generally buy things they want, and the things they may want that they can’t afford…well…I can’t afford them either.  However, there is something men buy each other all of the time and sometimes don’t even realize they’re doing it: leftover beer.

Whenever a man has a get-together at his place his good friends always bring a six-pack.  This is an unwritten code (I hate the term “Man Code”) that we live by when we get invited to someone’s house.  We drink, talk, laugh, and have fun….but then this is where the magic happens….everyone drinks a few beers from their six-packs and leaves, thus creating a Christmas morning type feeling when you open the fridge the next day and find a vast variety of leftover beers that you thought you’ve only dreamt about.  Throughout that next week you’ll enjoy that collection of beers while judging your friends based on their selections and maybe even trying something good that you never would have bought yourself…and using the bad beer for cooking.  (NOTE: You’ll always have the friend that brings the six-pack of Bud Light or PBR and then drinks everyone else’s good beer.  They are designated as the Grinch in this Christmas morning scenario.)

Women may not wholly understand the power of this gift-giving.  I’ve been around enough women in my life to have heard them call us men “simple”, usually in an insulting manner, but I think it’s worth noting that we are actually pretty simple.  Hell, there is a Skynrd song called Simple Man, which illustrates my point: leftover beer is a simple gesture that actually accomplishes two things: 1. A gift is given to a friend you presumably care about. 2.  It took absolutely zero extra effort on your part.  This really defines the ideal man gift.  Even buying your friend a beer at the bar takes a little extra effort, so this is the superior choice.  The result of this non-action is a pleasant gift for the party-thrower, which in turn encourages more parties (a gift for everyone, really).  Who cares if I don’t even know the month of most of my close friends’ birthdays, let alone the exact date, but I will guarantee a few leftover beers next time you invite me over.

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